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Checking into a Funny Farm

C Mon Amie
10 min readOct 17, 2022

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What is it like? It’s a Process… And You Hear That a Lot

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“I know this guy that stabs people. He’s probably killed hundreds of people. He’s probably stabbing someone right now. I call him Stabby-Stabby”

Wild eyed the new resident says this to me then bursts into disturbing laughter. I keep eating my oatmeal and remain expressionless.

She just checked into the crisis shelter I’ve been staying at for the last 8 days. Lots of characters stay here.

Like the angry old gangsta. He has one eye carved out of his head but no eyepatch. That poor old man has a chip on his shoulder and picks fights with everyone.

Random gang bangers come and go looking for shelter, and for opportunities.

Quite a few paranoid schizophrenics off their meds also find refuge here; some harmless, some not.

But nobody made me more nervous than the woman who talks about Stabby-Stabby.

I do what I can to avoid her. She seems fixated on me. I don’t like that. Her mood swings are unpredictable. She’s also clogged all the toilets so the bathrooms are no longer functional. She’s trouble. Thank God I’ll be moving on soon.

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